armageddon the gerbil
Virtually everyone in America, I'm tempted to say, knows somebody who knows somebody who claims to have been right there when Gere was admitted to the hospital, or knows the surgeon who performed the gerbilectomy, or a nurse who was sworn to secrecy. Our hero, the famous Gerbil of the urban legend, endured the unspeakable abuse (involving a cardboard tube) once too often. Variants of the story can be found in Internet message board postings dating back to 1993.​. Azi's Gerbil of Armageddon (henceforth referred to as Teh R0dent) is made available by Aziraphal on an "AS IS" basis and with all its faults. This is fake news circulated since 1993. This is fake news circulated since 1993. "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. The Internet knows more about felching than you likely will want to know yourself. strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/egerbilc/public_html/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 879. strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/egerbilc/public_html/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 745. strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/egerbilc/public_html/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 589. strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/egerbilc/public_html/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 589. Although Gere has never out-and-out denied the story — and really, who would ever want to actually say the words, "No I didn't put a gerbil in my butt" — he did once mention it in a magazine interview in which he said, "I stopped reading the press a long time ago. You may not modify, adapt, translate or create derivative works based upon Teh R0dent. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. Rather than attempt to provide a clinically correct definition of the term, we refer you to the Internet. Land in the tube at the end, try not to think where it may lead... 2010/aug/14: 1.0.00: The first release is out. "Both in my professional and personal life, thousands of guys have freely admitted to doing the most out-there, dangerous, risky, stupid, kinky stuff," sex advice columnist Dan Savage wrote in 1998. Be as trigger-happy as possible, there's an extra life in it every 1000 points. You are NOT allowed to sell or to rent Teh R0dent. Quite the opposite, in fact. Click Here to play Azi's Gerbil of Armageddon in mpowerplayer emulator! Is this a real newscast or not... whatever its funny as hell Collect the flashing coins by touching them; there are five on each level and picking them all up gives you a monster bonus of 625 points. 'Hanoi Jane' Fonda Rumors Blend Fact and Fiction, The Simpsons Go Online - Internet And Social Media In Springfield. Fly through the tunnel and bomb anything that moves .. except the coins. The term "felching" is, um, sorely misused in the text. Teh R0dent is provided free of charge but the autor retains copyright. It's fake news, a joke, or more precisely a joke bordering on an urban legend because people insist on claiming it's true. Albeit attributed to the Los Angeles Times, this lurid bit of potty humor did not originate in any newspaper. A viral "news story" claims two men were injured in a "gerbilling" mishap involving a tiny rodent, a cardboard tube, and an untimely-lit match. The narrative does revolve around an instance of what some like to call "gerbilling" (or "gerbil stuffing"), which, simply defined, is — supposedly — the act of inserting a live rodent into one's own or another person's anus for sexual pleasure. Like the doomed gerbils themselves, this story has no legs. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." Does Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Cause Chemical Burns? It's free, for Moog's sake. We say "supposedly" because, despite the fact that a name for such a practice exists, there's no evidence that the practice itself does. Neither the content nor the style conforms to even the lowest of journalistic standards. No warranty. The man doesn't know a hamster from a gerbil. Arming himself with an endless supply of bombs he embarked on a bloody rampage of destruction only small cuddly rodents are capable of. "But not once in all these years has anyone ever told me that he, or anyone he knows, has ever put a gerbil in his ass. Have fun with it or my lawyers are coming over to tickle you pink. A comprehensive guide that covers all aspects of the care and management of the Mongolian gerbil and other gerbil species. Tedd Petruna's Terrorist Tale of AirTran Flight 297, 20 Most Iconic Episodes of 'The Simpsons'. In no event will Aziraphal be liable to any party for any damages, claims or costs whatsoever or any consequential, indirect, incidental damages, or any lost profits or lost savings caused by Teh R0dent. Does "The Twelve Days of Christmas" Have a Hidden Meaning? David Emery is an internet folklore expert, and debunker of urban legends, hoaxes, and popular misconceptions. The best known gerbilling story in popular culture is, of course, the Richard Gere story, in which it's said that the actor was supposedly rushed to an L.A. emergency ward many years ago to have a stuck gerbil removed from his rectum. It's an actual slang word that refers to a sexual activity, and that sexual activity has something to do with rectums, but nothing to do with gerbils. He currently writes for Snopes.com. You may not reverse engineer, decompile, disassemble or otherwise attempt to discover the source code of Teh R0dent. You are allowed, encouraged even, to make Teh R0dent available for download on a mobile phone software resource page, a part of a CD compilation or use it for any non-profit purpose - providing that full author credit is given. Experience the magic of the Gerbil even without a mobile phone handy. It is an urban legend."​. What are the odds he had an intimate encounter with either one? No Modification. LiveAbout uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. The website for everything gerbil! Fair warning. A viral "news story" claims two men were injured in a "gerbilling" mishap involving a tiny rodent, a cardboard tube, and an untimely-lit match. In his rage he discovered he had developed the super-ability of flying! There is an infamous 'Gere stuck a hamster up his bum' urban myth.". By using LiveAbout, you accept our, Urban Legends: Richard Gere and the Gerbil, Top 10 Funniest Celebrity Responses to Fake Death Reports, Flash Your Headlights and Die: An Urban Legend. Is this a real newscast or not... whatever its funny as hell.

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